And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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