I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
