fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Everything about him screamed your future.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
