Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
