I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
