Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
