I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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