I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
