Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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