the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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