he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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