Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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