If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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