I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize