TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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