She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
