When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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