me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So many bounce houses so little time
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
