Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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