dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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