she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You smell like stripper and shame
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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