I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize