you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
