Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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