i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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