i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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