a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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