ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
