I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
