is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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