Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
