you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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