Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
