Buhtt sex?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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