I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
