I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
