What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
