i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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