She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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