I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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