dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
