Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were trust falling into bushes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
