I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
