the new term for farting is butt boxing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
