the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
