Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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