he puts the penis in happiness.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize