Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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