That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
