She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
