turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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