yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize