She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
