ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
