the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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