I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
