oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
