Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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