I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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